I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
