if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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