He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Can I color on your dick again?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
