big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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