I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
