She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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