everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
