How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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