She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
