Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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