Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
