Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
