Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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