You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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