Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
