What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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