You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
