And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
