Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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