I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
