im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
