Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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