i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
