ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize