she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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