how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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