tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
