Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize