i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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