I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
In America we eat man semen.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize