i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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