the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
