As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
