He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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