I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
