Don't you send me to vm
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
