Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
