isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
