i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
