Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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