Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
