Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
