38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
