she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
