Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
