i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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