Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I love black thongs
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
