When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
