So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
