Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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