Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
