omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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