I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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