just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
wow bdsm is so cute
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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