Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
