I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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