omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there's paper in my vomit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize