Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
