I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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