i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
