Who wears a wallet chain?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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