Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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