it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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