Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
