He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
