but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
