Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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