Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
