? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
