why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
