So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
