My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
