But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
