You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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