I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
