what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
