would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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