I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
