Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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